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Stories by a short, fat bastard

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9am Face-palm: Spread The Pain
Customer *a Shire Engineer*: We need a new e-stop. The drivers broke the old one.
Me *panicking a bit*: Broke it? What? How? Was there and emergency?
C: No emergency. They were just trying to make the wash go.
Me: ...
Me: Uh... But it's an e-stop.
C: I know.
Me: Uh... But it has a big sign that says 'Emergency stop'
C: Yes. I know.
Me: Um... But...
C: What happens is, they drive in through the exit, and when the wash doesn't start they hit the e-stop. And when it still doesn't start, they hit the e-stop harder, or pull it because it says 'Twist to release.'
Me *weakly*: Do they twist...
C: No.
Me*opens file*: I'm looking at a photo of your wash. The exit has signs that say STOP, EXIT ONLY and NO ENTRY. Or it *had.* Were they removed.
C: No, the drivers drive in through the exit, past the signs that say Stop and No Entry, and when the wash doesn't start, they pound on the emergency stop button labelled 'Emergency Stop.'
Me: Uh...
C: I see you feel my pain.
Me: Do you know what a head-desk is?
C: It's the perfect description of what I've been doing all morning.

"Your IQ must be above 90 to ride this ride".

(Deleted comment)
Road Trains. Road Trains up to 60m long. On Public roads.

I..uh,,,duh,,,,gah....stupidity...appalling...good *gods*. 8/!!
Brain does not parse. This just defies a law of something, and if not it should.
I'm not sure if I should laugh or worry if australia is going to hell in a bucket.

Hey, at least he or she is acknowledging the driver stupidity instead of blaming your company. "It's your fault, you should have designed it that you can't go in the exit at all!"

It's better than the complaints that the silt trap system keeps filling with stuff, like silt.



Umm...I can only hope these are future Darwin Award winners...

There are no words, Seriously...

Dear Mogg...

Edited at 2009-05-05 02:33 am (UTC)

I'm envisaging one-way gates being added to the exit, with anti-tank spikes welded on.

Not that it will stop the determined e-stop vandal - just slow him down.

(Deleted comment)
Then you have a giant supremely-expensive vehicle stuck, blocking your unit.

I was thinking along the lines of others here.

Include these in your next offer.

And I'm sorry for both of you.

Heh. Yeah.

Did you get your Dreamwidth invite?

all i can think of is putting great big gates on the exit, that can only open outward (and are sturdy enough to survive attempts to drive through them the wrong way). put the "start" button right where the driver can reach it out the side window, and make it fluorescent green and about 60 cm. across, with "PRESS TO START WASH" on it in enormous block letters (and several languages, if necessary). put the emergency-stop button near it, so it's quickly accessible, but not the very first thing the driver sees. and the exit gates will only open either after the wash cycle is finished, or if the emergency-stop has been engaged.

AWESOME. (I have nothing else to add...)