Shady Tales - Plane Spotting
Images loaded from the camera into my laptop with, I imagined, a sucking
noise. Running through my mind were the captions for each photo I would put
in the document, each caption describing the image, how it related to the
report, and hopefully worded in such a way as to be interesting or mildly
amusing. I ignored the conversations going on around me as the image
processing software optimized the pics and imported them.
A ball of paper landed on the keyboard, startling me. The three other
occupants of the room were staring. I'd missed something. "What?"
"I said," said the bandicoot patiently, "What's your name?"
"Greyshades," I said. They looked at me. "Shady," I added and received nods
"Shady by name," said the rabbit as she turned to the devil and snatched
the cigarette from his mouth and took a long draw before slumping back to
stare at the ceiling.
"Not by nature," I added. The smoke had a pungent, green smell and
irritated my nose.
"I don't know about that," said the bandicoot. "All that running around and
writing reports for management."
"It's only OH&S stuff," I said.
The devil sat up suddenly. "Hey! Are you called Shady because you, like,
run around is the dark and everything?"
"Don't mind Frank, he's a bit slow," said the bandicoot. "I'm Davo and the
rabbit getting herself stoned is Miff." The rabbit raised her hand and
waved vaguely at me. "Don't mind her. She's had a bad day," added Davo.
"Because you're a bat and like the dark. You know?" continued the Frank. He
paused for a moment and frowned. "What's OH&S?"
"Occupational Health And Safety," I explained.
"So what brings a OH&S guru from Sydney to Kalgoorlie?" asked Davo.
"You heard about the Euclid that was hit by lightning?"
"Oh yeah!" said Miff, breathing a cloud of smoke. Her eyes were closed.
"Well, I have to set up a 200 metre safety perimeter and make sure no one
goes near it for 48 hours."
Davo and Frank frowned. "Why?" asked Frank.
"The lightning ignites the tyres-" I began.
"I didn't see any fire," interrupted Davo.
"They burn inside," I explained. "They smolder away until the pressure gets
too much and the tyre explodes."
"Cool!" said Frank.
"Not if you're in the cab," said Miff. "And the lightning was bloody loud"
"You had a lucky escape, then," said Davo.
I stared at the rabbit. "You were the driver?" Miff nodded once. "I need to
talk to you-"
"Tomorrow," she interrupted. "I had a bad day today."
Frank slumped back in he chair and sighed. "I'm bored. Who wants to go to
"We don't have the new flight schedule," said Davo. "Do you have one,
"I thought he'd fly in on his own wings," said Frank.
"It would take me a week to fly across the Nullabor," I explained as I
fished the book from my bag and handed it over. Frank grabbed it quickly.
"You want to watch the planes land? You must be desperate," I added.
"It's more entertaining than you think," laughed Miff. "Especially the way
we do it."
Frank jumped to his feet. "Airbus at 10:20!" he exclaimed. "What time is
"10pm," I said.
"That's in-" We waited in silence while he counted the minutes. "20
minutes! You'll have to drive us."
I blinked up at him. "I will?"
"Frank's right for once. None of us are in a fit state," said Davo. "Come
on! It'll be fun!"
"Watching a plane land?"
"Depends where you watch if from," said Davo.
Ten minutes later we were sitting on the side of the road in my hired car.
"Here?" I wondered. "The turn-off to the airport is just ahead."
"Here," said Miff. "You can't get to the runway from the terminal."
I turned in my seat to look at her. "R-runway?!" I stammered but they had
left the car. I jumped out, locked the door, and sprinted after them. "What
do you mean 'runway'?" I hissed.
They ignored me. Davo was studying the chain-link security fence. Without
warning we were surrounded by a sudden white flash, followed a few seconds
later by another. "Hurry up," whispered Miff. "The landing lights are on!"
Davo pointed at a spot where the fence met the ground. Frank grasped the
wire and heaved. The fence lifted. He held it up while Miff and Davo
scrambled underneath, then followed as they held it. I stepped back and,
with a few flaps, flew over.
We ran. I had no idea where we were going and I was sure it was illegal,
but I followed them anyway. A hundred metres from the fence we arrived at
the end of the tarmac, where they lay face down on the ground just before
the end of runway markers. I joined them.
"Now what?" I whispered.
"We wait," explained Frank.
We waited. In the distance blinked little orange lights of airport vehicles
going to and fro in their duties. I stared at them, desperately hoping none
were heading our way. The night was calm but I was not. If the Federal
Police caught us here we would be arrested. I was nervous, scared, worried
and more than a bit excited. Eventually a faint whine could be heard.
"Here it comes," muttered Davo.
The whine grew in volume until it became an unbearable scream. I covered my
ears. The sounds pounded into my body, making my insides bounce. There was
a brief burst of landing lights as the plane passed barely 10 metres
overhead, then the scream of the turbofans became even louder. The plane
sank to the runway.
"Stand up!" shouted Frank as the three of them jumped to their feet. I
stood. "Here it comes!"
The plane touched down with a brief squeal of tyres and disappeared into
the darkness. At that moment we were almost knocked off our feet by the
blast of the jets, the hot air buffeting us reeked of tyre smoke and
fuel-alcohol. It was all I could do to stand upright.
Eventually the wind slowed. I laughed out loud, unable to contain the
adrenaline rush. "How did you discover this?" I shouted.
"It's not over yet," said Davo.
Behind us came another sound, a soft washing noise like an echo of the
plane. I turned to look, but an invisible hand picked me up and threw me
tumbling into the sky. I recovered quickly and landed where my companions
"What the hell was that? It felt like I was riding a willy-willy!"
"Jeez, Shady," said Miff as she stood and brushed herself down. "I thought
a flyer would know about wing-tip vortexes."
"Well… Yeah, but… We sort of naturally throw them off," I muttered.
"When's the next plane?" asked Frank.
"Tomorrow," said Miff. "Dunno the time. We'll check back at the barracks."
"You're all insane," I said.
"Maybe," said Davo. "You coming out tomorrow?"
"Yeah!" I said immediately. "That was fun."