Jess The Non-Wonder Dog vs the Ginger Tom
1990. My first house in Dubbo had a flatmate who owned a ginger ex-tom. This cat was big. I mean Fucking huge! He weighed 5 kg. When he jumped onto my waterbed he formed what looked like a large ant-lion trap. There would be a big cone in the bed with a large, pissed off cat in the bottom, as well as blankets, pillows and me, if I was on the bed at the time.
My dog, Jess The Sydney Silky, loves cats. She grew up with one on the farm. She like playing with Mandoo, a burmese. She taught him to chase dogs, and he taught her how to climb the peppercorn trees to chase possums. They even slept together.
When she first saw the ginger cat she wagged her tail. I could almost hear her thoughts: "Oh look! A cat! I'll lick it on the face in a friendly sort of way and we'll be friends." He fluffed up. She ran up to him. His ears went back. She licked him on the face. He lifted one foot then pounded her into the ground and proceeded to maul her. She, being the brave little doggie she is, howled and yelped and struggled then got away.
She ran into my bedroom and jumped onto the water bed for safety. The cat also jumped onto the bed, leaping across the room to do so. When he hit, he set up a wave in the bladder that threw Jess howling into the air as it passed below. The doona and blankets started falling into the hole made by the cat. Jess realized she was falling in and tried to run away, but she stayed in one spot as the doona moved underneath. She made a desperate leap for the pillow as it went by, and clung to it.
Her weight made the pillow unstable and it began to tumble. They landed on top of the seething mass.
I shouldn't have laughed, but I was rolling on the floor because as they rolled I could see dog-pillow-dog-pillow-dog. Jess leapt from the bed and landed on me. The mass on the bed exploded upwards and outwards, the cat also landing on me. I was badly winded and watched helplessly as they ran to the kitchen. Jess tried to avoid falling down the stairs but she lost her footing on the vinyl. So did the cat. She scrabbled desperately on the floor and changed her direction enough to bounce off a wall and knock down the ironing board. The cat had too much momentum and just sailed out over top of the stairs. The ironing board fell and smacked him out of the air like a giant ping pong paddle.
I was wrecked and spent the rest of the day on the sofa watching telly. Jess spent the rest of the day clinging to my head and shivering, and the cat never again entered the house while she was there.