On the way back from work Polly discovered the cooling sweetness that is my car's window, and started lick-lick-licking it no matter how much I told her not to. "You don't know where that kid has been!"
Once again I was pulled over by a constable doing a random Breath Test. I showed her my licence and she poked the reader at my face. "Please say your name and address." I did so, the machine went beep, and the constable stepped back. "Thank you," she said. "Drive carefully and have a nice..." The pause dragged on.
"Afternoon?" I prompted, then noticed the cop was staring at my back window. I turned and saw that Polly was glaring at the constable, all official guard-dog like. The effect was spoiled because her nose was squashed flat against the glass and her pink tongue was fully extended and stuck to the glass below her chin, frozen in mid-lick. The dog saw me looking at her, so she slurped her tongue away and wagged. Her nose was still pressed against the glass. The cop looked at me and blinked.
"I don't have normal animals," I said. The cop shook her head and waved me on.
I don't have normal animals. I don't know why.