Den (dewhitton) wrote,

Flat White

Dear Person Behind The Counter Making Coffee,

When I ask for a flat white coffee inna mug, I don't want a frappaccino, mugaccino, latte, or chocolate mocha. I want a flat white coffee. In a mug.I don't want to add any combination of flavoured syrups, whipped cream or sprinkles to change the taste. I want it to taste like coffee. Hot coffee. With a little milk and sugar. In a mug. Not an El Grande or other foreign word combination that means "big" in English. I want it in a mug. A big mug. Make me a black coffee in a large mug, then add some milk. I'll add the sugar. Don't heat the milk then add the coffee. Make it with hot water in a big mug, then add the milk. Is that too much to ask?

Large flat white coffee in a mug.

No froth. That's what "flat" means. Definately no froth, and absolutely no chocolate powder sprinkled artfully on top. If I want a cappuccino I would ask for a cappucino. Please do not force me to order a large black coffee with milk or I will say Certain Words. Loudly.

And the children in the shop will cry and I'll feel bad and then I'll be cranky at YOU, because I feel bad about upsetting kids in public and I STILL DON'T HAVE MY COFFEE, dammit.

Large flat white coffee. In a mug.

Thank you.

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