Another of my comedic influences is gone. Bugger.
# "I still think of myself as I was 25 years ago. Then I look in a mirror and see an old bastard and realise it's me."
# "Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers."
# "I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things."
# "I'm an Atheist...thank God."
# "I've stopped smoking...I think the cost was a lot of it, and not being able to breathe. I first gave up smoking when I was eight."
# "A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way."
# "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock."
# "If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."
# "Don't mourn for me now, don't mourn for me never - I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever (what Allen said he would like to have inscribed on his tombstone) "
# "Goodnight, thank you, and may your God go with you"