Den (dewhitton) wrote,
Den
dewhitton

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This Is Serious Mum

Dear Moby,

Having read you liner notes, I now violently oppose pain, death, famine, disease, slaughter, war, youth suicide, pollution, hitting your finger with the hammer, parking in disabled car parks, the industrial military complex, the death of innocent third world people, especially the children, by the way, I'd like to thank Mohammed and the Dalai Lama, safari suits and stating the fucking obvious.

X-Treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
The X-Treme Sport you haven't tried yet

Base jumping's for pussies
Kick boxing's for thugs
Jet skiers are morons,
Weight lifters need drugs
Abseiling is pointless
Why climb up a wall?
Only right wankers
Play beach volleyball.

The X-Treme Sport you haven't tried yet
Is kissing my arse.
Kiss my arse.

Met a snowboarder
Who wasn't a turd?
Nah, neither have I
The idea's absurd
You get on a plank
You slide down some slush
Fall on your arse
Say "Man, what a rush!"

I turned on the telly
I just went, like, "Whoa!"
And used the remote
To flick through the shows!
I think I'll watch footy
I know it's not x-treme
Why take it to the max
When you can take it to the mean?

The X-Treme Sport you haven't tried yet
Is kissing my arse.
Kiss my arse.

Why don't you kiss my arse.
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