Den (dewhitton) wrote,

  • Mood:

Post-exam lunch

I called in at the pie&pastry shop to buy a saussage roll for lunch, and saw a new sign that said "Please don't ask for credit as we do not wish to offend."

Maybe it was the sudden release from stress but the wording really tickled me. Not "a refusal often offends," but "we do not wish to offend."

Customer: "Um, can I pay for this later?"
Shop owner: "Oh man! Now I have to do ths: You rotten stinking mongrel sonofabitch cheapskate bastard! Piss off and never come back! Sorry about that but... You know?"

A sign I would like to see is "Please ask for credit so we can offend you." The shop would fill with middle-aged besuited business men who missed this week's appointment with Mistress. "Excuse me miss? Can I pay for this later?"

I see a chain of BSDM fetish clubs disgused as corner stores staffed by strong ladies in shiney black clothes. "Just going out for some milk, dear!"

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