Den (dewhitton) wrote,
Den
dewhitton

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The long, pale arm of the law

I met Chris from Nevertire at the airport. He was catching a plane out, and since he was coming to Dubbo he'd brought an injured Wedge-tailed eagle to pass on to the eagle expert here. H couldn't meet him so she asked me to pick it up "Oh! and some eagle food, too."

The food was frozen rats and guinnea pigs in a cardboard box. The eagle was in a larger carboard box, which it had started to demolish. It had chewed a hole in the side and I could see it's evil little eye looking at me. We loaded the boxes onto my back seat, and I headed into town.

As I turned onto Whylandra Street I saw at the bottom of the hill a Police car with flashing lights. The LED screen was flashing up

RANDOM
BREATH
TESTING

and the cop was waving in random vehicles to be tested. He waved his light-saber at me and I pulled in. I glanced in the mirror and saw the eagle's beak cut out a neat little triangle of cardboard as it made the hole larger. I wound down the window, got out my licence and waited.

"Good morning sir!," said the constable. "I won't need to see your licence unless you're over the limit. Have you been drinking? Good! Please blow into this until I tell you to stop." I blew into the breathalyzer until my lungs turned inside-out, and the LED went green. "Stop!" Beep said the breathalyzer. "Thank you! uh..." He bent to the window and sniffed. "Smells like you have a dead animal in there."

I should have said it was a dead mouse, but instead I was honest. "That's probably the guinnea pigs thawing out."

He looked at me. "You have frozen guinnea pigs?"

"Yeah. They're food for the eagle."

"What eagle?"

SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH said the eagle.

The cop went pale and stepped back. I was amused to see he'd actually reached for his Glock but didn't pull it out. "What the fuck is that?"

"The eagle," I said when my ears stopped ringing. "It's in the large box" He looked through the glass of the window and jumped back as a huge white foot full of talons shot out of the hole and clutched at the air. "I'm with WIRES, " I explained. "I'm taking the bird to a vet's to be x-rayed."

The constable nodded and said "Good luck." He waved me on.

The bird is sitting in my car now, waiting to be picked up. There is no way in the world you could get me to open that box. Eagles are best observed from a distance, preferably from behind a protective wall. And the fun part is, soon I'll be helping glue wing and tail feathers into ANOTHER one.



Speaking of rescues
Florence


Gromit


Hagrid. A very wet Hagrid, just after I rescued him.
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