October 18th, 2003

bastard

Central Locking as an Evil Tool

10.30pm found me driving the Yish Kid and his brother home. They were full of pizza and coke, and were fighting each other in the car and I was very tired of it. In the distance I saw a bloke on a horse, possibly riding home from the pub. He wore a wide-brimmed hat and a drizabone so his shape was a little undefined in the dark between the street lights.

"I wonder if that's the headless horseman," I said. The kids shut up real fast. I could feel their eyes on me. I started making up some story about this horse rider who met a gorey end, and how he rides around looking for his head. "When he thinks it's in your car, he locks all the doors so you can't escape then sneaks into your car and hides under the seats and grabs your legs."

Silence. The pair stared at me then turned to stare at the rider as we drove past. When I was about 2 car lengths past the horse I hit the central locking button. The clunck of the locks was very, very loud. "Something just touched my leg," I said.

They shut up for the rest of the trip. I have 4 little footprints to clean off the seats but that is a small price to pay for a trouble free trip.
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