October 19th, 2001



-all theses completely brilliant render programs I can't afford. I see the mind blowing things other people create using BRYCE, 3dStudio Max, Poser and such, and wish desperately I could do the same.

But I'd have to pirate the software. I ask myself the question "Would I feel comfortable displaying images created using materials I have stolen?" and "Would I be happy receiving praise for those images?"

The answers are always "No" and "Yes, and guilty too."

The other day I saw someone mention on irc that they would have to "check the warez sites" for a render proggy, and I asked how they felt. I was told that they couldn't afford to buy it.

I don't think that really answered the question.

I feel crappy about using what I use. POVRay is free, but MORay isn't. I still use it because I know I can afford to register it when I have the money.

Right this instant I have $450 in the bank - enough for 1 car repayment. I've had to move back in with mum and dad so rent isn't a problem as long as I pay for my share of the food.

Fuck. 40 years old and living with Mum and Dad. I have *got* to get a proper job. Working for the family company isn't paying me, and installations for Hardly Normal are few and far between.

And I feel shitty about using unregistered software.
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