What a week! First my gout started giving me hell, and then, would you believe, my doctor said I needed immediate surgery! I'm run down and listless and I don't know if I can stand it any more. I just pray that next week I don't have a relapse.
As for you, don't lay a trip on me. Wake up: you aren't exactly number one on my priority list. Some of us don't keep tabs on all our friends. But if it makes you happy-- I'm sorry. Jeez, people can be so anal.
I won't take up any more of your time -- I acted like an animal, disappointing my family and friends. No one can regret these circumstances more than I, though I emphasize I remember none of the details. All I can do is take it one day at a time, and move forward, sadder but wiser.
I am a worm. You've reminded me-- oh, it cuts me to the quick-- that I have behaved once more like the brute I am. It would be only fair for you to never trust me again. Say the word, and I will drive nails through my skull in apology.
I oh gosh-- I guess I didn't do, you know, that stuff and all. What I want to say is, I'm, uh, sorry. You know, what a screwup, huh? Sorry. Is that enough?
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
