Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
No need for cure. Benign virus.
Brand Names (130%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
Free BSD (95%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory (88%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.